Faithful Steward?

      I know we aren't supposed to test God.  You know like, if You just get me out of this mess, I'll never do this again, or, okay God, if You really are who You say you are, then do this...

     Alright, then I got confused.  Malachi 3:10 says, Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and TEST Me (infasis mine) now in this, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open for you the windows of heaven, and poor out for you a blessing until it overflows.  Here is my take on it.  I was at a point in my life of desperation.  I really felt like I didn't have enough money to make my bills, let alone give 10% of it to the church I attended.  I felt so desperate, I tried it.  Not only did all my bills get met, I was able to get into a work place where I built a considerable clientele and I was making more money than I ever had. 

      Here I go asking for forgiveness again.  I quit doing it.  I am now married and money isn't tight.  We are blessed in so many ways, however, this past Sunday I came across this verse and I got a sinking feeling in my chest.  I no longer want to test God.  I just want to bless Him.  I want Him to be able to bless others through the church I now attend.  I can't say I tested Him before as much as I was desperate and willing to try anything.  Now I feel that tithing is more a part of who I want to be in Christ. 

      Please understand, I am not trying to condemn or preach at anyone.  This is my experience.  This is my conviction.  However, I know that when I was in God's financial plan, finances were not a problem.  He is the creator of all things, including money, why would I ever think that I could do a better ob of controlling it than the one who gave it?